Being fearful is something everyone knows in a different way. Being afraid is a big thing in my life, since I’m afraid of a lot of things, it’s a part of who I am.
Let’s start with explaining my own fears. As I said, I’m scared of a lot of things. I don’t enjoy being alone in the dark, since I’ve seen quite the load of horror films in my time, and whenever I see something scary, it keeps hanging in my brain. I keep seeing the things I’ve seen in the films, so when I’m in the dark by myself, you don’t even want to know what things go through my mind. Actually, I’m aware of what happens around me all day long. I’m always on the lookout for things that might scare me, so it takes up a great part of my day.
Also, I’m afraid of heights and I’m claustrofobic. My fear of heights is quite idiotic, since I’m already quite nervous when I’m on a ladder, but my claustrofobia isn’t all that bad. I just get awfully crazy whenever I can’t move my legs.
Another thing, which affects my life in quite a big way, is that I’m afraid of going somewhere when I don’t know what will happen. For example: when I’m about to go to a party, I start thinking of different things that might happen when I’m there, and I panic. Complete terror goes through my mind. This often makes me not want to go anymore and I end up staying on my couch watching Netflix. Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging on my couch watching fun films, but it’s also good to get out there, and I’m not always able to go out because of my anxiety.
As you might get now, being afraid takes up a great part of my life. It really marks me, since it’s part of my identity. The people who are close to me know I’m not very good with horror films (except for the Burton-Depp films, I loooove those!) and scaring me is a big no go, because I won’t forgive you for that.
What I really think of fear, is that being afraid is about being afraid. Example: when I’m alone in the dark I see pictures of scary things in my mind. I see scary little ghost girls with blood on their clothes in my head, and that makes me equally as afraid as it would when I’d see them in real life (even though I’ve never seen them in real life, thank the lord).
Seeing things in your mind can freak you out so much, you can actually be frightened of them.
I just wanted to get this off my chest. Not only for myself, but also for the people like me, so they know they’re not alone in this. Being scared of something is not something to be shy about, you should be open about it. Don’t be ashamed of it. Tell people about the things that scare you, so they can take it into account and know what they can and cannot talk about when you’re in the room (yes, scary stories are just as frightening, or maybe even more frightening, as scary films).
I hope this helped you in some way, or made you understand people like me a little more.
Have a lovely rest of the day and just think about fluffy puppies whenever you feel a little fearful.