You being you, it seems like the most normal thing in the world. How could you ever be someone else? If you’re trapped in your own body, that’s just not an option, some would say. And yes, in a way ‘some’ are right, but there are multiple ways in which one isn’t fully her- or himself and that needs to stop. Pronto.
I know that finding your true self is hard, it’s tough to stay in touch with your soul when there’s so many different influences that are constantly trying to change you, but it’s also the most important thing in life. Once you lose touch, it’s hard to find your way back to pure you-ness, so trying to stay on the right track should always be your priority.
By now you’re probably giving your computer weird looks because I’ve been going on about this is a vague sense, but clarity is coming! The thing is that people are often apt to take on traits of others, and sometimes that’s okay, because you know that they’re like you and that it’ll enhance your being in a pure and soulful way, but as soon as you start changing into someone that isn’t you, it’s time to put a stop to it – immediately.
To quote one of history’s most wonderful writers, Oscar Wilde, from his works De Profundis:
“It is tragic how few people ever “possess their souls” before they die. “Nothing is more rare in any man,” says Emerson, “than an act of his own.” It is quite true. Most people are other people. Their thoughts are some one else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
I know we all have people we look up to, and striving to be where they are is most definitely a good thing, trying to change into them on the other hand, not so much. In these busy days of working too much, spending hours and hours on the internet looking at other people’s lives and reading and hearing about what they do all day long, it’s hard to stay true to you.
There’s one thing I want you to do at least once a day and that is taking a moment to go inwards, towards your true self, and realise who you are, what you do, what you want and how your path is bound to lead you. The best and easiest way to do this is via meditation (I am not saying meditation is easy, because it’s not, especially not when you’re just starting out), but if that’s not your thing then this might be a good option. Don’t be afraid to be alone with your thoughts, they’re not as scary a they seem.
Now the real reason I am here today is to tell you why you should practice doing this, why it’s worth it to stay true to you and you alone.
For your sanity. Imagine being an actress or actor and having to stay in your role all day long, without switching back to yourself at all. The only moments you’re allowed to be you is when you’re by yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes, then it’s back to Cap’n Jack or Clarice Starling. Wouldn’t you go mad having to pretend you’re someone else all day? Well that’s exactly what you’re doing when you don’t stay close to your true self and it’s torture.
It will guide the right people towards you. Opposites attract, yes. Rad people attract other rad people too and your true self is so, so much more marvellous than your ‘role’. Be you and the right people, the ones who are actually set out to make you happy and love you ever so deeply, will come to you when the time is right.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard M. Baruch
You know that the people around you appreciate you for you. And that’s a pretty big confidence booster! Once you’ve found your tribe it’s safe to say that your world is rocking hard and your life will be better than ever. The best thing about it is that there’s no bullshit, just true love and appreciation. YES!
The chances you’ve been waiting for will come to you. Whatever it is you believe in, whether it’s The Universe, Karma, God, Buddha, Allah or who-/whatever, they know when you’re bullshitting around and it’s never appreciated. (And if you don’t believe in anything, you know when you’re bullshitting around, I know it, and we both shan’t appreciate it.) Of course there’s a path you were destined to walk throughout your life, but only your true self will be able to walk it accordingly and only your true self will be handed the chances that you need to take the next step. Let’s say ‘no’ to pretending and ‘yes’ to flourishing!
Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” – Marilyn Monroe
No more over-thinking. Once you’ve found the true you making decisions will be easier, for you will know what really feels right and what doesn’t. Yes, you might need some time to think about it, but no more real worries or nights of despair. Life gets easier, because you will be guided towards the next good thing, which means you can give your mind the rest it deserves and make room for the good stuff instead.
Freedom. Once you’ve come to love the true you, you’re free to do whatever feels right, because it feels right. If you’re slightly clumsy and awkward: embrace it. If you like to be the head of the group and dance on tables on a Friday night: embrace it. If you feel the need to break away and adventure your way through life: embrace it. If you’re all that at once: embrace it. Embrace yourself, it feels great.
All the love,
Images by Ryan McGuire.