Being an introvert makes living in a world dominated by extraverts hard at times, it makes us go into situations that don’t feel quite comfortable, which can drain our energy. It’s totally understandable for an introvert to find it hard to succeed in a world that can be very hard on a sensitive human being, which is why I’ve been making some slight changes to my personality, purely to make life more easy to roll with and just plainly more comfortable.
I know what you’re thinking – how does one change her personality? Easily said: one doesn’t. Not really, at least. I’ve talked about staying close to your true self before and I still stand by that 100%, but being an ambitious introvert makes for an interesting (and sometimes slightly frustrating) mix. There is no way for me to ever become an extravert, I will simply never be the girl who wants to be heard by everyone in big groups or the person who’s totally comfortable with speaking in front of a big crowd. I’ll never give up my nights of staying at home watching films and reading books alone, I will never feel comfortable with a person right away, it’s simply not in me to be like that. What I can do however is make social situations easier for myself. I say can do, I mean have done (though yes, I am still working on it every day, it’s not an easy task).
I wanted to share with you how I’ve been making life easier for myself, both professionally as well as socially. Take a look at this.
Dress nicely. Seems superficial, non? It goes a lot deeper than just how you look though. Feeling comfortable, sexy and empowered in your outfit changes you on the inside. It boosts your confidence and with that comes a bit of loosening up when you’re talking to others. Also, I’ve taken up a new rule in my fashion-book: ‘always dress like you’re going somewhere better later’ and that basically does the trick every single time.
What I try to do is lay out an outfit the night before. This helps me in every way possible, since I don’t have to worry about what I’m going to wear in the morning (which saves me A LOT of stress) and I’m more excited about getting up in the morning because I know that I’ll feel comfortable with myself all day long.
Practice your talk. Yes, I am telling you to talk to yourself in order to be better at talking with others. Just hearing your own voice and how non-awkward you can actually sound (especially when you talk about something you’re passionate about) will give you such a boost in your confidence, which then will give you more courage to go out and talk to others.
Talk to as many people as possible. Speaking of talking to others, go do it! I know it’s scary as hell at first, you won’t know what to say to whom or when to say what, but the more you try, the better you’ll get at it. One of the best things that have happened to me since I moved to London is that I feel much more comfortable talking to random strangers, simply because I do it a lot. Ask your cashier about their day, tell the person who’s holding your favourite book in the bookstore how lovely you think it is, or share a moment with a stranger who’s admiring the same view as you are. Practice makes perfect.
“When you do what you fear most, you can do anything.” – Stephen Richards
Go out on your own. If you’re always surrounded by friends when you go out it isn’t very likely you’ll get into a conversation with someone new. When you go out on your own on the other hand – va va voom! The thing is that you’re more approachable when you’re by yourself, so people are more likely to come up to you for a chat.
Also I really think it’s an important part of life to be able to have fun without being dependent of others. If you want to go to that quirky museum but your friends think you’re absolutely bonkers, go by yourself! If all your friends have gone away and you’re left all alone in your hometown, staying at home and watching Netflix all day is definitely a lovely option, but going out exploring deserves to win sometimes as well. Make memories to share solely with yourself, it’s great!
Make peace with who you are. It’s so, so, so important to be okay with who you are. To be comfortable in your own skin and to simply not give a fuck about what others think about you or your choices. The moment your mindset changes to that your life is bound to be so much more interesting. You are the person you have to be around for the rest of your life, so you can either be upset with that person forever (forever!) or be happy with who she/he is and just have fun, it’s up to you.
The time has come to go out and practice, practice, practice. Good luck, doll.
All the love,