How are you feeling? Are you over the moon happy and glad to live the life you’re living? Are you quite pleased with how things are turning out, but secretly constantly wishing for a little bit more of this and a little bit less of that? Are you worried? Worried about the life you’ve been living up until now and the days the future might bring?
Let’s think and let’s feel for a second. Really feel – stop tucking those feelings away, set them all free and analyse them. Is there something bothering you or is all A-okay?
Is there something you can change right now? A little reshaping you can do to your life in order to make it more fun and less ugh? Cool; do that. Now.
Can’t think of anything? No worries, I have. That’s what I’m here for.
The thing that will make the change of changes, the life-alteration we all strive to do, but it’s so hard and putting in the work is so exhausting and ugh, I could be watching Sex and the City right now..
But Sex and the City is not going to make it happen, not unless you do anyway.
What I want you to do is this:
Go fall in love with yourself. Romance yourself. Be cute. Be kind. Be sweeter than sugar.
It takes time and it takes work – a lot of work – but baby, baby, baby, it’s so worth it. Because once you’re in love with yourself, all is done and dusted. Because once you’re in love with yourself, you don’t need to fall for anyone else. You don’t have to take their shit. You don’t have to hunt for romance, because you’re romancing the shit out of yourself already (and you’ll be rather busy doing that, believe me – it’s addictive).
I’m not saying that once you’re crushing on yourself, you won’t fall for anyone else anymore, not at all: you’ll fall harder and deeper than ever before. But it will be healthy. Non-obsessive. Sweet love and with the sorrow kept to an absolute minimum (we’re no fairies, life brings sorrow, it’s part of it and it’s always a blessing in disguise).
So how are we doing this?
It starts simple. Look. Just look. Look at your life, look at yourself in the mirror, look at what you’re doing. See your thoughts, see your creations, see what you’re like to others. If you’d see you at a party, would you get that half-way smile because you’re so, so cute? You betcha!
Pay attention to everything and you’ll notice how much you actually do and how much you’re worth.
Then it’s time to start making time – seriously. Are you always hurrying in the morning? Set your alarm a bit earlier and be attentive whilst doing your makeup, instead of slathering it on like paint on a wall. ‘But I’m already waking up so gosh darn early’ you say? We’re not talking hours here, just 15 minutes will probably do, and the change it will bring will overtake the importance of your snooze habits soon enough.
Take walks. Make dinner a fabulous event every night. Lay out a rad outfit the night before. Read for hours. Sip tea. Do your nails, curl your hair, never leave the house without lipstick.
Spend your weekends doing the things you love with the people you love. Be in the moment. Really be there, stop constantly looking ahead, you’re alive right now, the thing that will happen tonight will happen tonight and your current attention to it doesn’t serve it as much as you think it does.
Dance in the kitchen. Sing. Take long showers and even longer baths. Write. Journal away your feelings, thoughts and memories. Drink wine. Laugh, out loud, because life is funnier than anything, you’ll notice that soon enough.
Be unapologetically you and notice the thing that make you that. Feel them. Love them. Cherish them.
You’re rad. I know you are. You deserve anyone’s attention, but most of all you deserve your own. Give that to yourself and fall. Fall head over heels. The romance you’ll have with yourself will be the biggest and most powerful of your life and it will power everything you do, so you best be careful and gracious in the process.
All my love,
Image Mila Kunis by W Magazine.