Life breaks you sometimes. Everything you had expectations for, all that finally seemed to go as pleased, it crumbles into nothing and you’re left stranded once again. It happens. It happens to all of us in all different kinds of ways and on different levels, but still, it happens. And you’re always allowed to feel your feelings, to mope, cry, sing along to the most heart breaking songs and scream into the void, sounds of ‘why?!’ and ‘fuck!’ surrounded by darkness that seems infinite.
You’re allowed your time to feel all the sadness and disappointment rush through you, because not doing so would mean never closing off this particular chapter of sadness. Part of mending a wound is disinfecting it, and it hurts. But after the hurt comes the healing, and the faster you allow yourself to give the care you need, the more quickly you’ll be whole again.
Gratitude lists, as you will have read and heard and seen thousands of times by now, help. Knowing what is around you, realising that you are so, so fortunate to be who you are, where you are and with whom you are, is one of the most powerful tools we have to make ourselves feel better. Just a blank piece of paper, a funky pen and a tune that makes you hum excitedly, that is all you need. Meditate on it for a while, if you truly want to get deep. Or simply start writing. Write down every little thing that comes to mind, and before you know it, the space on the paper will have run out and you will have a list of the things that make your heart jump. And don’t toss the list in the garbage once you’re starting to feel better, because it may come in handy some day when the blues capture your pretty little heart again and you’re being pulled down into the abyss once more. Keep it in your journal, your diary, the top drawer of your desk or your night stand. Keep it somewhere safe, but easily accessible.
And if you’re not so sure where to begin, because it’s your first time and you’ve spent the former years of your life not really realising what you feel thankful for (and there are so many people with you on that, so there’s no need to worry, it’s never too late to begin), start with the obvious. The things that society expects you to be grateful for (even though society isn’t the right guide when it comes to millions of other things, it’s an okay audience to keep in mind when you start), be it your house, your family, best friends, all friends, your cat, your super comfortable bed, the fact that you can drive a car, etc. etc. etc..
Once you’ve created that list, go further, go deeper. Go where no one else has gone before and listen to the voices telling you about every single little thing that you keep in your heart. Jot them all down. Don’t think about it, just feel it, write it, and send that happy glance all over the paper (you know, the one where your eyes sparkle just a little bit, because you’re proud of yourself and your list and your life).
There’s no need to put in heaps of thought, you don’t need to outline every single thing that you’ve written down (but if you feel like it, and you think it to be helpful in a way, then do exactly that!), it’s no science and you don’t need anyone’s approval of it. The only thing these lists do for you, is make your heart jump and get that smile back to that wonderful face of yours.
Look at it before you go to sleep, meditate on it, feel it within the deepest parts of yourself and keep it in mind, always. Because positive attracts positive, and if you feel true gladness about yourself and your life, more of the magical things will find their way to you. You just have to sit tight, with open arms, and be ready for it.
Make it sweet, make it graceful, make it great,