Slacking. For pretty much the whole of 2016, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Now, I’m a firm believer in ‘whatever is meant to be will be’ (because it brings me comfort, more than anything, and being the severe over-thinker I am, I need this comfort), so I don’t necessarily want to slam myself in the head for slacking all throughout the year. Mostly because some amazing things have happened as well, life-changing. In between slacking. But still, I feel a bit bad when I think of all the things I could have done in the past 350 days. So many books I could have read, so many posts, and journal entries, and novels, and poems, and random words I could have written, so much music I could have discovered, so many films I could have watched, so many cities I could have visited. And so much more I could have done. But then again, there is always more we could have done. If you’re anything like me, the constant fear of wasting time, of wasting life, lingers on your mind much like Cotton Eyed Joe would when you heard it again (sorry, I know it’s in your head now… but hey, it’s in mine too). It terrifies me, every time I think of it. But the time we’ve spent, we are not getting back, and though that thought may be heartbreaking, it also triggers growth.
December is such a sentimental month, and as everyone reviews their year, I start to feel the urge to review mine as well. As I said: slacking. I caught myself on it. And I’m happy for that. As soon as I got into the philosophy of ‘all choice is ours, it is up to you to choose what you want – always’, I knew that the slack was a choice. Time after time, week after week, I told myself that this was going to be the day that changed it all. And then I spent the majority of it doing who-knows-what (honestly, I have no idea) and more days and weeks and months passed without change. As that realisation settled into my mind, I took out my brand new daily planner and started planning out today, to the minute. Slacking is a lot easier when you have all day to do something. So I don’t. I don’t have all day to research for that one particular project, I don’t have all day to read that book, I don’t have all day to work out. I have an hour, maybe two, and then I need to move on to the next thing.
It’s essentially about focus. Focusing on the things you want to get done, the things you’re doing, for an hour or two. Giving it your all for that small amount of time and then letting it go, until it shows up on your planner again, tomorrow, or maybe the day after. It makes the task less daunting, less messy. Creating focus for yourself, that is key. Because as much as I (and I imagine, the both of us) have been waiting around for things to be given to me, to reach my way, nothing has fallen into my lap quite yet, and I’m afraid it ain’t happening any time soon. Not to me, not to you. Because all the power, for everything we want and need in our lives, lies within ourselves. It’s your choice to do it, it’s your choice to stand up and make it happen, it’s your choice to spend your time on whatever it is you ought to do (or to not spend your time on whatever you don’t feel like doing, honestly, you don’t owe anyone anything… you’re your own to give away, whenever and wherever you want).
So choose wisely. Do what you must, what you love, what makes you feel alive. And be present for all of it, with full focus. Today is the perfect day to make a jumpstart for a magnificent 2017. It’s all yours.