The first thought I had after realising that I had reached the end of my major existential crisis (more elaboration on said crisis here) was ‘I am just really glad to exist.’ It’s true, even though I have spent the past year and a half trying to figure out the how’s and why’s of my own existence – and the existence of others along the road, as well – it comes down to the simplicity of gladness to just be. To have been born in this form, with this brain, in this place, and then to go on and grow up the way I did, cultivating knowledge (and sometimes even a bit of wisdom) in a constant pace.
I’m glad to feel, so very deeply at times, to give love and receive it, to be amazed by beauty, falling hard for every little thing that seems to touch my soul. I’m happy to be able to sing and dance, to wake up and do yoga, to have my health and a heart that is filled to the brim with curiosity and adoration.
I don’t know the answers to any of the questions I have asked myself over and over again for such a long time, and that’s okay, I’m glad about that too. I’ve surrendered, for now, laying down my battle axe and choosing to appreciate living for what I do know it to be: a fantastically wondrous ride of endless curiosity, to pursue passions and creative work, enjoying the sense of progress, always.
There is so much to learn, so much more to find, many more ways to train our minds and hearts and souls, but doing so with humility, knowing that there simply are questions that have no rock solid answer, to play with the idea of possibility and acknowledging that we can know so much, yet hardly anything at all, makes cultivating new knowledge a more free-spirited pursuit. It breaks us free, no longer bound to the idea that we will, at a certain point, find the end of our road and know everything we want to know. Knowledge has no end.
As Socrates said:
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”